FuneralOne Six feet under the coaxial cable

The other day, I received a fresh copy of my birth certificate from one of the dozens of websites hocking them online. I was pretty stoked and surprised you could get a legit copy of the legal document so quickly; after all, I’m 30 and still need to show two IDs to order a Coors Light at Applebee’s.

The encounter got me looking. Just how many of life’s milestones can the Web take care of for you? Couples can’t get married online (yet), but they can facilitate their own divorce divorcesyourself. You can find baby names at topbabynames. And when your babies are 14, they can find their rock star names rockstarname. Sweet.

But fast forward 70 years…and what about the hereafter?

An awful cliché tells us there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Of course, we know that through TurboTax, TaxACT and other online H.O.V. lanes straight to Uncle Sam’s pockets, taxes are do-able via the Web. But what about death?

Thanks to, even mom and pop funeral providers are now able serve their clients with bells and whistles-laced funeral webcasts, slick tribute video production capabilities, personalized printing, business Web design and even online grieving resources. Funerals planned, conducted and aided over the Web might sound cheap and impersonal, but in an economy in which banks fail faster than celebrity moms, this cost-effective alternative seems a bit more classy.

According to a FREEP article, FuneralOne brought in nearly $3 million in sales last year and is eyeing $10 million this year. Plus, the start-up is already working with about a quarter of all funeral homes in the country. And the company is run by 28-year-old college dropout H. Joseph Joachim IV.

Looks like Joachim won’t be playing “Taps” or buying sympathy mylar balloons for his little business anytime soon.

5 Comments on this Post

  1. I wish to wish all pregnant women of good mood, easy pregnancy and natural sorts! Good luck also are happy! Give birth easily and independently! Let not doctors give birth for you, and you!
    Also adjust itself on chest feeding of the kid! Read the necessary information!Be, lovely pregnant mums and expecting posterities of the daddy, are healthy and wise!

  2. Harry Joesph is hot! xoxoxoox


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